Super Bitch

A long time ago Russia had a sneaky plan to crush the United States. Using calculated bursts of epsilon radiation, they would turn our soldiers into morons. Next, they would deploy Russian superwomen to undermine Hollywood’s cultural cachet and demolish the American porn industry. And finally, when the time was right, they would invade our shores and take advantage of our wrecked economy.

It was a crazy and convoluted plan, but the CIA got wind of it and countered with its own epsilon radiation research. And that’s when things really got screwy. Because of the agency’s botched experiments, men in Scranton, Pennsylvania, became idiots and women became super.

Of all the superwomen in Scranton, only one decides to become an honest-to-goodness superhero. Dubbed the “Beotch in Black” by a guy suffering from Reduced Functionality Disorder, the BIB lives a complicated life. She is a single mother by day and a crimefighting angel by night. Her powers are never fully explained, but she’s able to keep an airliner from crashing, rescue a kidnapped little girl, dismantle a Scranton mob family, and expose a corrupt mayor.

In addition to her superpowers, she also has a super libido. Which makes sense, if you think about it. Anyone who’s driving a high-performance racecar is bound to be “running a little hotter than the rest of us.” And the BIB is no exception. When she’s not busting heads in Scranton, she’s on the prowl for a man who can satisfy her sexual needs.

Along with all the superheroic and super libidinous activity, there’s supervillainy afoot that threatens to end the BIB’s crimefighting career. But with a little help from her friends she’s able to defeat her king bee nemesis. There’s a lot of humor in Super Born and a fair amount of quirky Repo Man-like paranoia. But mostly, the author is trying to tell the story of a middle-aged women’s moment of crisis. “Am I the Bitch in Black, a single mom from Scranton, or something else?” she asks herself at one point. Why pick? Why not be all three—a superhero, a super mom, and a supervixen all rolled into one? There’s no point in limiting yourself.

[Super Born: Seduction of Being / By Keith Kornell / First Printing: July 2010 / ISBN: 9780982645208]

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